Siblings-why must you try so hard to irritate one another?

Only children are notoriously and stereotypically self centered and full of emotional issues. But honestly, why do some of us feel a desire to have more than one child? I mean, I love my kids and wouldn't trade them for the world, but what was I thinking, having more than one? Did I have some fantasy that the constant bickering that can occur between siblings would not happen in my household? Did I somehow believe that my children would be from some perfect universe where they never insulted or hurt or angered one another? Honestly, I think I didn't even contemplate it. When I decided to have more than one child, I do not remember even entertaining thoughts about how they would be to each other. Except when I was pregnant with one and tried to educate the older one(s) on what to expect with a baby in the house and how I may need their help with some things, I didn't spend time considering how the children would get along. When, as a mother of 3, I met my current husband, who had 2 of his own already, I did not think much about those children not forming bonds or relationships. We gave them time to spend together and helped them work out issues when they arose and hoped for the best outcome, I suppose.

Here I am, eight children later, all but my youngest two out of the home during the school days, being driven to the brink of insanity by kids who aren't old enough to tie their own shoes. I am perpetually astonished by my toddler's desire and ability to annoy my pre-schooler. Its like she lives for it. Is he playing with legos or dinosaurs? She wants to interrupt, ruin or otherwise interfere or take over the play session. Is he drawing or coloring or making a craft? She wants to take all of his supplies and run to the other room, throwing them about along the way. She doesn't seem to have a desire to copy what he is doing, leading her to this unending need to be involved in it all, she just seems to want to mess it up. 

He's not much better. Whatever she is doing, if he's not already so heavily involved in his own play that he doesn't notice her, he will go over and climb onto her or knock the toys out of her hand. How do most of us grow up to be decent adults after having started out having such intense focus to ruin others' happiness? 

Siblings require a lot of patience. Patience I didn't realize I possessed until I had more than one child. When I added a second child, it changed everything. When I added a third child and therefore had outnumbered myself as far as ratio of hands to children, it changed things even more. Adding more children to the mix after that didn't really change my parenting that much, but having these youngest two and especially tolerating them within the constraints of fighting an often fatal disease like breast cancer, has certainly tested my ability to stay sane. I'm not really sure that I am sane most days. There are times when I have absolutely no patience for the constant chatter of my four year old or the constant "mommy, mommy" of my nearly two year old. There's barely ever a day I have enough patience to tolerate the non-stop urges my youngest children have to make each other's lives a living hell. All I can do is try my best to teach them not to find joy in getting on each other's nerves and how not to let the need to compare themselves consume everything they do. 

Parents don't get a sick day

Everyone gets ill sometimes. Usually its because some little kid (yours or someone else's) brought some of their nasty little germs over to you and gave them to you as a prize for being the closest person to them at the time. If you work for a good employer, you have a set number of sick days at your disposal or even some vacation time that you can use to cover your absence from work for a day or more while you vomit, sneeze, cough, shake, seize or have whatever symptoms (real or imaginary) you are having associated with the virus or bacteria (or stress induced boss avoidance) that has invaded the home you call a body.
Parents do not get paid for the job they do. Perhaps if they did, some of them would choose to take it more seriously and do a better job at it. Parents aren't offered a benefits package when they sign on  for being the caretaker of a child. If we get sick, and we are not a single parent (or we are a single parent with helpful family and/or friends), we might be able to get enough help from our spouse or others to make it possible to rest and take care of ourselves in order to recover faster. However, this is not always an available option even with the most caring and supportive family or partner because it often means they have to take a day off as well and sometimes that's just not possible or doesn't make sense financially. Very often, as parents, we have to deal with being sick, or having a headache or backache or a twisted ankle or sore kee and still have to parent our kids. Even with tons of help, we don't truly get a day off from parenting. We still have to be there for our kids. Being a parent means sucking it up and trudging through the day with our kids whether we feel up to the job or not.
You can take herbs, vitamins or other natural remedies to get you over stuff faster, you can take conventional medicine to hide your symptoms, you can do a combination of both or you can take nothing at all. No matter what you choose to do, you do not get the option of pretending you are not a parent and have no responsibility to the offspring you have. Parents do not get a sick day. If you are really lucky, what you get is a cute little drawing from one or more of your children wishing you to get well soon so you can get back to making them dinner and helping them clean up the mess from that craft project you told them not make right now. Oh well....maybe you can sleep extra tomorrow. Good luck with that.