Tantrums are so inconvenient

Kids cry, we’ve all seen it-get over it

It’s a wonder that we aren’t all completely screwed up as adults. We live in a society that is embarrassed by our feelings, be those good or bad. We spend years trying to get our kids to express themselves vocally and then we squash their ability to do so by becoming disgusted with them whenever they do just that.

A five year old subjected to a 45 minute grocery store trip might whine and cry because she is frustrated, bored and tired, but though we, as the parents, force them along for these outings (often out of necessity and/or convenience to ourselves), we blame the child for their feelings and ask or oftentimes demand they reign those in, instead of accepting responbility and their emotions.

Groups of teenage boys often hoot and holler during sporting events and it is widely accepted, but put that cheering inside a hospital for a diagnosis of freedom from cancer and all of the sudden its not appreciated. Why couldn't you cheer along with them instead since obviously grandma kicking cancer's butt should be seen as a victory worth celebrating.

A fourteen year old who’s boyfriend just dumped her for her best friend walks in during a card game with your friends, sniffling with tears streaming down her cheeks. You’ve repeatedly told her you’ll be there for her and she can tell you anything, but instead of welcoming her into your arms for the hug you know she needs, you escort her to another room and attempt to clean her up so that she’s “presentable” to your guests. You then tell her you’ll talk to her when your company leaves.

Why are our emotions so subject to time and place? Why must we participate in being citizens of a society that sees unadulterated shows of emotion as unacceptable or taboo? Who says we need to hide our faces in embarrassment at the public displays of our children's (or our own) emotions?

We made these idiotic rules as a society and we can unmake them. We can choose to decide that a child's emotional wellbeing is much more important than any inconvenience caused by dealing with possibly private matters in a public place. You should not choose to only love your children at home, when you are alone with only them and other family, therefore you should not only accept their feelings as a perfect part of them only when you are home alone with them. 

No one ever really died of embarrassment and if they did, wow...that's just sad. I personally am going to welcome every emotional outburst, be it positive or negative and simply be happy that my children are capable of feeling. I promise to let them be who they are as I guide them toward how to be sensitive, productive, caring, helpful, wonderful members of this F'ed up world in which we live. I challenge you to do the same. You're children will one day thank you for it.

I'm a troublemaker. Come be one with me.

The Era of Lawsuits: That's what this time period will probably become known as when the history books review it period hundreds of years from now. How did we get to a point where we are so interested in making money off of the stupidity or simplicity of others and care so little about fellow human beings. 

You might be thinking, "Okay, that's a valid question, but what does it have to do with parenting?" Well, lucky for you, I'm going to tell you. 

The media poisons everything we know about our environment, our society, parenting, food, health, any subject at all really. Sometimes that poison is actually beneficial to us, as humans, other times it brings us to our knees. Parenting is one of the most hit victims of media poison in this day and age. Everywhere you turn, some commercial or magazine ad or billboard or television show or movie is giving its portrayal of how parenting "is" or how it should be and whether you feel the opinion shown is a good one or not, it is attempting to influence you. 

What To Expect When You're Expecting is the most recent in a string of movies where parents are portrayed as selfish asses who want nothing more than to fit their pregnancies and soon to be children into their schedules and plans. Its as if society wants us to veer so far away from the "barefoot and pregnant" female oppressive structure of the 50's and prior that we are willing to risk injury to our children-both physical and psychological-to get there. 

We vaccinate out children supposedly to keep them healthy even though numerous studies are showing that this has the opposite effect and yet we think nothing of pushing babies out on our own timeline without regard for how this can impact them. Doctors don't tell women everything, and nurses don't do any better after they walk into a room, hand a patient a consent form and stand there waiting for the mother to sign away her rights to keep herself and her baby safe. Why? Because we might offend the doctor or nurse? Because we think we don't know what's right? Because its simply too inconvenient to fight the system that we already allowed to become such a huge and dangerous part of our culture?

F**k that. Be inconvenient. The doctor is put out because he might have to stick around a few hours more waiting on your baby to come out? Oh well. That's his or her problem. You certainly didn't tell them to choose this career. Have your baby at home and you'll likely not inconvenience anyone. You'll rarely find a midwife (especially one doing home births) who will say that the labor is not progressing fast enough when they really mean "I'm late for dinner". If the midwife wants to leave, they'll either get someone in to replace them or they'll just suck it up and deal with it. 

That's right, I am telling you to be inconvenient in your birthing process. I don't mean inconvenience people by making sure that your baby is born with physical problems that require being solved because you convenienced yourself and the medical staff by consenting to that epidural or induction. I'm talking about being inconvenient by asking for what you have fully researched to be the best for birth and for your child. Not blindly listening to the medical staff who have their own agenda. Having worked previously with nurses who have less than adequate ethics, I've seen women be given sleeping medications so that their contractions lighten up and those births don't end up happening on the night shift. Understand that many medical personnel do not care about you or your baby (I'm sure this will raise eyebrows as well as voices, but notice I said "many" not "all") and are primarily interested in doing as little as they possibly can to get through their shift and get closer to another payday. Why? Because they don't want you to inconvenience them. Do it anyway.

I'm also telling you to be inconvenient in your parenting.Other adults are inconvenienced because they might get a glimpse of your breast while you attempt to latch on your screaming infant at a bookstore during the rare occasion you actually made it out of your house? Screw 'em. Besides, everyone will be a whole lot more inconvenienced by the continuous and subsequently louder crying that will occur if you don't feed your child right then and there. In fact, while you're nursing your baby, change their diaper too. Be as inconvenient as possible to those around you so they'll get used to life not revolving around them. The people who are smiling at you as you do this, or who offer to help when you drop said diaper two feet away and can't reach it without unlatching your child are the ones who might be inconveniencing those people again later.

As long as it is what is best for your child, be as inconvenient as possible to yourself and to those who live with you or are ever in the same location as you. The well-being of your child depends on it being inconvenient to others. Join in the inconvenience movement. Let's be inconvenient together!