Kids cry, we’ve all seen it-get over it
It’s a wonder that we aren’t all completely screwed up as
adults. We live in a society that is embarrassed by our feelings, be those good
or bad. We spend years trying to get our kids to express themselves vocally and
then we squash their ability to do so by becoming disgusted with them whenever
they do just that.
A five year old subjected to a 45 minute grocery store trip
might whine and cry because she is frustrated, bored and tired, but though we,
as the parents, force them along for these outings (often out of necessity
and/or convenience to ourselves), we blame the child for their feelings and ask
or oftentimes demand they reign those in, instead of accepting responbility and
their emotions.
Groups of teenage boys often hoot and holler during sporting
events and it is widely accepted, but put that cheering inside a hospital for a diagnosis of freedom from cancer and all of the sudden its not appreciated. Why couldn't you cheer along with them instead since obviously grandma kicking cancer's butt should be seen as a victory worth celebrating.
A fourteen year old who’s boyfriend just dumped her for her
best friend walks in during a card game with your friends, sniffling with tears
streaming down her cheeks. You’ve repeatedly told her you’ll be there for her
and she can tell you anything, but instead of welcoming her into your arms for
the hug you know she needs, you escort her to another room and attempt to clean
her up so that she’s “presentable” to your guests. You then tell her you’ll
talk to her when your company leaves.
Why are our emotions so subject to time and place? Why must we participate in being citizens of a society that sees unadulterated shows of emotion as unacceptable or taboo? Who says we need to hide our faces in embarrassment at the public displays of our children's (or our own) emotions?
We made these idiotic rules as a society and we can unmake them. We can choose to decide that a child's emotional wellbeing is much more important than any inconvenience caused by dealing with possibly private matters in a public place. You should not choose to only love your children at home, when you are alone with only them and other family, therefore you should not only accept their feelings as a perfect part of them only when you are home alone with them.
No one ever really died of embarrassment and if they did, wow...that's just sad. I personally am going to welcome every emotional outburst, be it positive or negative and simply be happy that my children are capable of feeling. I promise to let them be who they are as I guide them toward how to be sensitive, productive, caring, helpful, wonderful members of this F'ed up world in which we live. I challenge you to do the same. You're children will one day thank you for it.
