The great school day vacation from parenting

If you don't homeschool your kids (which is just fine if that's what you want), you send them off to school at around age 5, for anywhere from 3-7 or more hours per day. If you're like a lot of selfish, shitty parents, you assume that everything happening to your child between those hours is not your problem.
Many of today's parents expect that their children will not just be educated in english (or some other language), math, science and perhaps a little social studies (and the arts, if they're REALLY lucky), but will also have their morality education needs met, along with being taught everything from wiping their little snotty noses to wiping their little filthy asses. However, all of this has to be done by people who aren't allowed to say "butt", can't teach your child about sex or orgasm or their period, nor give them a simple and loving hug without fear of someone accusing them of being a pervert. And heaven forbid a teacher discipline your child.
We hand our kids over to a system that we expect to do all of the parenting for us during school hours as well as much of the parenting that takes place during the child's time at home. We end up creating this vast and idiotic circle where schools feel the need to fill in the gaps that so many parents leave around their offspring and then more gaps form from the laziness that is the product of the schools filling in so many gaps. Its like one person standing at the edge of a sinkhole with a plastic spoon, trying to refill it, while it's still being created.
The average public school teacher, in the United States, makes around $40K a year. Not a very good salary for someone who is being entrusted with the education of our most important, moldable and easily influenced little minds. And yet, many parents expect those lowly paid individuals to not only care as much about their children as the parents pretend to, but also to educate them on everything they need to know to grow up and be productive adults without any assistance from the family they should be spending more time with. Many teachers not only spend their day following lesson plans and state rules on what your kid is supposed to learn, but also stay after school, offering their time, likely without pay, to make sure your youngster actually understands and grasps the material.
Too many parents act as if they should have no role in their child's education, even though almost as many will become perturbed with the school system for not teaching their child what they think they should be learning. Some parental units even act as if the sky is about to fall simply because their child might have work that has to be done outside of school hours. Even worse, apparently, is that the parent(s) might be expected to help if there is something the child does not understand. I've known a parent or two who think that having access to the teacher's email address means they should be able to expect a response any time day or night, school day or not, just in case there's something their child didn't responsibly pay attention to regarding their homework or an assigned project.
It's just not possible for kids to learn everything they need to know in the limited time they spend at school, even if they attend before or after school tutoring or Saturday school (where available). If you want your child to be prepared for college and/or the real world, you need to be prepared to step in and get involved with their education. Reading with your child, not just falsely signing a reading log that says you did, might be a difficult thing to fit into your schedule, but if you don't find a way, you're not putting your children's needs before your own. Don't understand math or science? Find a tutor, if your child isn't getting enough help from school. Most schools have contacts to refer you to of local college students or teachers who also tutor in their free time (ha ha) for rates as low as $10-20 per hour. For people on a strict budget (like us), this can be a stretch, but your child should be worth the effort and maybe just an hour or three over the course of a few weeks could be enough.
My point is this: not all teachers do their job well, not all students learn the way the school system is set up to teach them, not all that your kid needs to know to grow and be a productive, well mannered and helpful member of society is taught in schools.
Stop getting pissed off at the schools because your child refuses to behave him or herself in school and start figuring out what YOU can do to help. Stop making teachers feel like they can't touch your child in appropriate and loving ways, as long as the contact wasn't refused by the student (kids have a right to not want a hug from anyone). Start pushing your local school system to pay their staff better so that all the really good teachers end up at private schools. If you want your child to succeed in school and in life, realize that choosing not to homeschool and allowing your child to attend public or private school does not mean no schooling needs to occur at home. You are still your child's first and most important teacher. Good parenting does not allow for one to be lazy. So quit bitching about all the time you don't have and making your kid feel guilty for "bothering" you and start putting your child first-ALL THE TIME.

But when do I get a life?

Kids lie. If you've ever had any or been around any for more than a couple of hours that were older than 4, you should be completely aware of this fact. I mean, many adults lie too, but I don't think a single kid went from birth to age 18 without ever lying once. Its just not possible. I think the heavens would fall if it happened.
The thing about lying kids though is that it means you have to be an involved parent. Because kids lie, you can't assume that your kid is actually doing their schoolwork. You have to check. Many parents seem astounded on open house night to find out from their kid's teachers that they're beautiful, precious, genius child isn't doing so hot in some of their classes. With many of today's school systems having online grade viewing applications, that your child isn't getting good grades may not be so much of a surprise on open house night, but its still probably a shock to see that they didn't turn in an assignment or two or they failed a test they told you they studied for if you are the type of parent who just doesn't bother to pay attention to your kid outside of the times you're yelling at them to stop inconveniencing your life by making you run late or getting in your way around the house.
We have an open binder policy in our house, which means that whenever we parents feel like it, we will open your binder and verify that your work is all done. We also have very open and frequent email communication with many of our children's teachers to make sure they are on top of their shit by assuring we are on top of ours (aka being parents by paying attention to our kids).
It annoys me to no end to see parents taken by surprise by things they should have known. This is not to say that my kids never get away with stuff (at least for awhile) or that my husband and I are never caught off guard by one or another kid's actions. That's just not a possibility. However, when it comes to things like grades, school stuff, where they are at a given moment, their plans for the evening, etc, we pretty much know what's going on, sometimes even more so than they do. Its not uncommon for me to inform one of the kids that they failed a test and need to remediate it when they haven't even received it back from their teacher yet.
Its very inconvenient some evenings to take the time to look through everyone's stuff and/or talk to them all about what's going on with school and other things since the day is only so long and there are anywhere from 4-6 children in our home at a time (my step-kids aren't usually over here these days), but its a priority. Sometimes things slip through the cracks and we beat ourselves up about that, but we get over it, and try to do better in the future. We know that we're gonna miss things occasionally, but that doesn't give us an excuse not to try.
If your going to have children, whether by impregnating someone or by becoming impregnated (a lecture for another time is that surrounding sex) or by adopting a child or however you became the parental figure for a minor, you automatically give up your right to be selfish, unmotivated and inattentive. Despite the inconvenience of it, despite how difficult it is, despite how much you have to push yourself and your wants and needs aside for a period of 18 or so years, you stuck yourself in this situation and you can either be a shitty parent by maintaining the right to be those things I just listed or you can be a good parent. And part of being a good parent is not only being attentive and motivated and selfless, and loving, but also to have a good attitude about it.
Children are not children forever. Whether your decision to become a parent was conscious or unconscious (see comment above about a lecture for another time), if you are going to be a good one, you might as well realize that, though you must give up much of yourself for quite awhile to help your child (or children) grow to their maximum potential, this phase will not consume your entire life. You will have time to be what you want and if your parents were good parents as well then you already had some of that opportunity, to be your best, when you were growing up. Keep a positive attitude and hope for a long life so that you'll have more time to do what you want once your kids are grown. And most of all, get over yourself, in every sense of that phrase, Your kids need you to do exactly that.

Ow, my arms are killing me

Many mammalian species bear young who can walk or move about in some way right from birth. Not us stupid humans. I tried to get my newborn to walk to the kitchen to fetch me a glass of water when I was thirsty right after his homebirth and that little floppy baby didn't even so much as make an attempt. It's almost like he didn't even understand me. I had to carry him around or find someplace safe to lay him (like a cradle or a rocker infant seat) for something like 7 months before he started to really move around any significant amount. Even then, it was about a year before I could expect him to fetch me things and he still sucks at it at the age of 18 months. All of my kids were like this. Inconvenient, right from the start.
This is how it seems a lot of people feel about their kids. This is part of the reason that the average baby registry kills 37,000 trees to print off at the store. Parents assume they need all this stuff to care for their infant, when in reality its just all crap that makes their lives easier and babies more "convenient". They bring their precious little packages home from the insane asylum, I mean hospital, in well padded, crash tested, appropriately color coordinated for the gender infant safety seats with convenient carrying handles that can also be rocked. They sit on a base in the car, a base in the stroller and a base in your home so that you don't have to touch your needy, helpless baby unless it has pissed or shit itself, and even that's debatable depending on how absorbent his or her landfill occupier, I mean disposable diaper, is.
It unnerves me to no end that some parents will go from home to a restaurant or store or several stores and back home again without ever having touched their beautiful little child. Touch stimulates growth and nurturing stimulates development and yet some parents cannot be inconvenienced by doing either of those. Breastfeeding, babywearing and co-sleeping are, when done responsibly, all safe and effective ways to insure that your child grows up feeling your love, knowing their self-worth and maturing in adequate time. Giving your child the impression that he or she is too much trouble for any of those things, or your time, is the surest way to help them grow up to be detached, uncaring adults.
Personally, I know that when my arms are sore, I've done something good today, and not because its the result of weight training all afternoon. In my grounded, well adjusted young children, I see the benefits of my efforts. As for the teenagers, well, they are a completely different story...